Being home is crazy. I'm not sure what I expected to return to but I don't think this is it. First of all, I didn't actually think I would be cold but I am but every so often I will become unbearably hot for maybe ten minutes then I go straight back to being cold - as my Uncle would say, I can't find my happy medium. The other things I've noticed, which I figured would be issues, are I'm not hungry at the right time, and I'm not tired when I should be as a result of this I haven't had a 'proper dinner' since I've been home.
Seeing people that I haven't seen in so long is nice too, friends that I love and would die for have been a pleasure to catch up with and see again after so long apart. Hearing all about what I've missed is a very nice welcome back but I also realise how glad I am I wasn't involved with any of it. This town will forever remain the same; I can't take the bitchy ways of 90& of the inhabitants for much longer, I just wish we could all get along, I know that sounds terribly cliché but that's absolutely how I feel. I've made so many plans with people that I've had to start writing the times and places down so I don't forget or get muddled.
It's nice being back and in my own room again, while I was away my Mother decorated it how I wanted it as a surprise and I am really grateful for that. I finally get to put things where and how I want them which gives me something to do. As we hadn't moved in too long before I left I didn't get to do much organising and putting things where they should be but I get to do all that now and it's been made easier as my selves and such are up. While I was away, I was sharing my cousins bed and it was lovely - there was always someone to talk to right before sleep drags you away. There's something comforting in that, those few words before you go. Conversations on the brink of sleep are always the truest. It was a nice thought knowing there was someone sleeping beside me that loved me. Now I'm back to my basement bedroom alone and the only company is up two flights of stairs. I love sleeping with people, not in the sexual way, just sleeping next to someone is comfortable I guess.
I am excited to go back to work tonight at the Chinese (one job of my three) because the people I work for so are so lovely and kind; they also give me dinner with my nights pay which I could not appreciate more! Then afterwards I'm perhaps going out in town for a drink with some friends which will be good - I'll get to see a lot of people I haven't yet.
All in all being home is ok, but I wouldn't mind going back to America next week. It's not bad here and I love so many people but my life isn't here, it never has been and it never will be. I don't know where my life is on the Globe but I know nothing exciting is going to happen to me in Suffolk.
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